whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Oh god it's open bar.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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