i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
