It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
