I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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