I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
