If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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