You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
