At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
