11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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