Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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