I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
