I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
