i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
