I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
