me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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