yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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