Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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