covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
