You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
