sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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