he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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