I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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