I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
