As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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