And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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