soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Best friends brother. Beat that.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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