I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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