is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
