just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
