we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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