i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The air was thick with penises
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
