dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
