at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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