ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
