hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The air was thick with penises
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
