Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
