Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
