the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
