Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This is the high leading the old right now
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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