Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
