she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
