Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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