i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
