sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
