I looked at my own cervix.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
