so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
