it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The best revenge is premature balding
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
