he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
