I bet he comes in French.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
