blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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