The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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